Horoscopes
Celebrity cocksandwich.net Birthday of the week!!
A very special Happy Birthday goes out to the beautiful and talented Liz Hamilton!!!! Liz, you are the wind beneath my wings!!
Aries- The Ram
I know Carrie is your favorite from Sex and the City and I know you wanted to try dressing like her…that is exactly why that queen slapped [...]
Horoscopes
Aries- The Ram
You know it’s been a rough night when the Hispanic construction workers refrain from sexually harassing you on the walk home the next day…
Taurus- The Bull
I know you thought it was funny to streak at the party the other night but after the fifth time you ran around the house in full swing, [...]
Horoscopes
Celebrity Horoscope of the Week!
Happy Birthday Leah!!! Cocksandwich.net loves you!!
Aries – The Ram
Nice job with your hair…looks like someone has been drinking in the middle of the afternoon again.
Taurus – The Bull
It’s time to start putting down people that you feel you are superior to. I know it feels good right?!
Gemini- The Twins
Both bestest [...]
04.24Horoscopes April 24
Horoscopes
Aries – Ram
Spring has sprung my little friend and by the looks of it so has your little friend…better cover that with a notebook or say you are fond of putting tropical fruit in your pocket.
Taurus – The Bull
Good news, masturbation prevents prostate cancer. You might knock your arm out of the socket but prostate [...]
Horoscopes
Celebrity Birthdays of the Week!
JT Arbogast- April 12 – Happy Birthday JT!! JT you complete me!
Aries – The Ram
Do you have that not so fresh feeling? Yeah, well you have that not so fresh smell too…
Taurus- The Bull
Tell me is it crowded in the center of the universe?
Gemini- The Twins
It sucks you are bummed about that [...]
Horoscopes
Celebrity Birthdays of the Week!
Mike Novilla- April 1 – I think this picture says it all Happy Birthday sunshine!
Aries – The Ram
I think Jesus might hate you…no reason in particular just a hunch…
Taurus- The Bull
You might want to stuff those feelings way down deep inside. No one wants to see you cry, seriously, it’s gross when snot [...]
Horoscopes
Aries- “The Ram” (March 21-April 20)
Love might be in your near future however a rash could quickly follow.
Taurus- “The Bull” (April 21-May 21)
Try to avoid anyone who is balding, wearing blue or listening to an i-pod. If this describes you, do your best to avoid yourself.
Gemini- “The Twins” (May 22-June21)
Looking for love? Well as the [...]
Horoscopes
Aries- “The Ram” (March 21-April 20)
Feeling a little heavy after the holidays? It might be time to adopt that Dexatrim, coffee and cigarette diet you’ve been threatening to start. If that seems too extreme avoid looking at anything that reflects your likeness.
Taurus- “The Bull” (April 21-May 21)
Do not attempt using a British accent to [...]