I have only been single for about a year now after getting out of a six plus year relationship.  I would like to say I have dated two people after my break up but during my six year exclusion from the mating game the definitions have changed dramatically.  Even the word definition is a big no no to use when describing what you are doing romantically with another person. I always thought the term dating meant that you have been on at least three dates with a person and by date I mean they contact you or you contact them in order to ask if they would like to join you in a recreational activity or meal with romance being in the equation somewhere.  The only commitment involved was agreeing to be seen with the person in public. Sex was not  a given when you said you were “dating” someone but it was not out of the question either. Now apparently the exchange I just described is called “hanging out” with someone.  The term “hanging out” about eight years ago meant you just happen to be at the same location like your apartment and you watched TV, got stoned and did not go out publicly. Romance was not really a factor unless of course you were just ”hooking up”. “Hooking up” meant you knew the person, never really went out for recreational activities/meals alone together and one night after you or the both of you had too much to drink you ended up making out or going further. A mistake more or less but one that would be repeated if you found yourselves out again and drunk. The term “friend” was just like the Webster dictionary definition, platonic, no romance involved ect. The term exclusive meant you were not ready to say you were a couple but it did mean you were having sex with just that person.  Girlfriend/Boyfriend used to mean you were exclusive, shared meals/recreational activities and were a couple.  Fiancé meant you agreed to marry the person who used to be your girlfriend or boyfriend. Married meant your parents spent thousands of their dollars on a huge party for their friends and family that you had not seen in years while you and your fiancé agreed to be committed to making a life together. From the limited time I have had to ask people who have been single a few years I have gathered that the following terms are defined today like this:

One nighter=one night stand will probably never see the person again (usually a lot of shame and regret involved)

Hook up/booty call=get together after 3AM after striking out to have sex only. Leaving immediately afterwards and there is usually alcohol involved.

Friends/friends with benefits)=get together to watch TV/shoot the breeze in hopes of having sex, like their company but not enough to be seen in public with them.  Agree to cuddle afterwards/spend the night on occasion.

Hanging out=you agree to share a meal or recreational activity with the person and there is an element of romance involved. Sex is in the equation.

Dating=You feel the strong need to see and contact the person many times a day as well as sharing meals and recreational activities together , a brief but painless blood letting ceremony is involved. Exclusively having intercourse with that one person.

Boyfriend/girlfriend=You are planning on buying real estate and there is a baby on the way.

Engaged=two children later, mortgage and jewelry is involved.

Married= surgically fused to the other person forced to wear matching outfits.

I understand the lameness of labels and how they can box something in by defining it, I generally think that if you are lucky enough to find someone you really enjoy being around to let things happen the way they are supposed to, enjoy the moment. Expectation will be a factor soon enough. But when you are at a cocktail party why does the answer to “So is he your boyfriend?” have to turn into “No. I would say we are dating because for the past three months he has called me each week to ask me if I would like to go to the movies, dinner or grab a glass of wine with him but apparently dating is much more involved than I have ever knew (still not clear on what it means now)and I can’t say we’re seeing each other because that would still be like saying we are dating even though when you agree to spend time with a person you are forced to see them physically with your eyes unless you’re blind folded, which I would probably have to be committed to the person a bit more before agreeing to anything involving blind folds, I digress.  So all I can say is we agree to have meals or engage in recreational activities  and it has been more than three times with an element of romance in the equation.”

After that explanation I usually need a nap. 

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