06.05Horoscope June 1st - 7th
Horoscopes
Celebrity cocksandwich.net Birthday of the week!!
A very special Happy Birthday goes out to the beautiful and talented Liz Hamilton!!!! Liz, you are the wind beneath my wings!!
Aries- The Ram
I know Carrie is your favorite from Sex and the City and I know you wanted to try dressing like her…that is exactly why that queen slapped your garage sale looking ass when you were crossing the street yesterday.
Taurus- The Bull
I know times have been hard lately. Things should start to get easier once you stop your bitching and let someone else get a word in.
Gemini- The Twins
This is your month honey! Soak it up because the rest of the year is going to blow the big one.
Cancer- The Crab
Time to think about removing your head from your ass hole.
Leo- The Lion
Many people might cross your path this week. This will piss you off because most of them will be walking the opposite direction on the side walk and they will run right into you like you’re invisible.
Virgo- The Virgin
When a woman looks like she is about to gag when you get close to her, it might mean she doesn’t like you…she’s not playing hard to get, she’s trying to hold in her vomit…seriously.
Libra- The Scales
Avoid people with heads that are too small for their bodies.
Scorpio- The Scorpion
You know the blind date went bad when the only logical thing to do is curl up in the corner with a bottle of booze and rock the painful memories away.
Sagittarius - The ?
This is your lucky week my friend!! Feel free to tell your boss and other people you hate to suck it!
Capricorn- The Goat
Love is just around the corner followed by fear, pain and regret!
Aquarius- The Water Bearer
No one thought he was good enough for you…he reeks of patchouli and needs braces.
Pieces- The Fish
Feeling home sick? Give your Mom a call. You’ll start to remember why you moved 3,000 miles away in no time!
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