I love Paula Abdul for just saying fuck it. I can get all fucked up on national television and aint no one gonna stop me. At least that’s how I saw it.

The other night on American Idol, Paula was judging Jason Castro after his first song of the night and seemed a bit confused, to say the least.

This week, the contestants were to sing two songs by Neil Diamond. After Jason’s first attempt, Paula slurred “The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty (like her prescription of Oxycotton) and the two songs made me feel like your not fighting hard enough…” When Randy and Simon informed her that he only sang one song, she said “It felt like you sang two. This is hard!” She later said “I got lost in my notes.”

I’m not even going to slam her. She gives us something to laugh at. I think the funniest part of the whole Paula on AI is that there is always an article or report on TV asking “Was Paula drunk?”

News Flash: Are you outta your fucking minds? She’s all sorts of fucked up!

If she isn’t drunk or high or whatever, then she should consult a neurologist to see what the fuck is making her so whacked out. Personally I hope she’s on something because if not, then she’s probably got some serious issues going on (besides substance abuse). For real. She’s like my 98 year old neighbor Alice who doesn’t mind throwing a fistful of feces at the mail man once in a while. He probably deserves it anyway.

I think that Paula has been sharing her drugs with David Archuleta. Either that or his dad is. Did you ever see his dead eyes and dopey face after he sings? I love the kid but you know his crazy father is injecting him with a “sedative to get you through it Davey. Now hold still!”

Whatever it is, it sure is funny.

Filed under: Can I just say:, Richard's Posts, American Idol, cocksandwich, David Archuleta, drugs, drunk, Jason Castro, Paula Abdul, singing