Horoscopes

Celebrity Horoscope of the Week!

 Happy Birthday Leah!!! Cocksandwich.net loves you!!

 Aries - The Ram

Nice job with your hair…looks like someone has been drinking in the middle of the afternoon again.

Taurus - The Bull

It’s time to start putting down people that you feel you are superior to. I know it feels good right?!

 Gemini- The Twins

Both bestest and gooder are not real words but complete and idiot are.

 Cancer- The Crab

Some people get their daily cardio in by spanking random strangers.

 Leo- The Lion

Time to tell that special someone that they suck.

Virgo- The Virgin

Maybe you have a hard time finding friends because it is impossible to like you.

 Libra- The Scales

Dude, maybe she is not returning your calls because you took a magazine into the restroom at her house on your first date. Gross…seriously what is wrong with you?

Scorpio- The Scorpion

Grab the nachos, plant yourself on the coach, watch the game and let yourself go. Don’t worry she has to sleep with you, she married you.

Sagittarius-The ?

Avoid standing down wind from Jerry, he thinks it’s funny.

Capricorn-The Goat

Avoid people who describe the color orange as mango.

Aquarius- The Water Bearer

Depressed? Time to hide any sharp objects from yourself.

Pieces- The Fish

Your apartment smells like cheetos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed under: Horoscopes, cheetos, complete, depressed, Horoscopes, idiot