Horoscopes

Celebrity Birthdays of the Week!

Mike Novilla- April 1 - I think this picture says it all Happy Birthday sunshine!

Aries - The Ram

I think Jesus might hate you…no reason in particular just a hunch… 

 Taurus- The Bull

You might want to stuff those feelings way down deep inside. No one wants to see you cry, seriously, it’s gross when snot drips out of your nose.

Gemini- The Twins

You might want to re-think your appearence unless of course ass clown is the new look for Spring.

Cancer- The Crab

Todd seems like he was the kid in the third grade who ate paint. But go ahead and date him if your self esteem is that low.

Leo- The Lion

 Avoid people who talk about themselves in the third person.

Virgo-The Virgin

You might find a bag of cash on your way to work this week.

Libra - The Scales

Debra called she wants those ten seconds of her life back because it will take about two years of therapy to get over them.

Scorpio- The Scorpion

You know they spit in your food if you send it back…just an FYI.

Sagittarius-The ?

Those people who are laughing at your jokes are laughing to be polite because they think you have down syndrome.

Capricorn-The Goat

I know things have been tough lately. Take some time for you today to drink yourself blind. Cheers baby!

Aquarius - The Water Bearer

I know you just read “Maybe, he’s just not that into you”…here’s something to think about maybe he’s into you and not a stalker…think about it…

Pisces - The Fish

Some topical cream should do the trick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed under: Connie's Posts, Horoscopes, Aquarius, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, celebrity Birthday of the week, Gemini, Horoscopes, Leo, Libra, Pisces, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo