OK. We all have our favorite singer or actor but how much do we really care about them? Ultimately we know nothing about our high profile crushes. But this doesn’t stop our just short of stalker interest.

Scarlet Johansen put a date with her to a movie premiere on ebay to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. The winner bid $41,000!!!!! Does that include a blow job? NO. So why would anyone pay that much money to ride in a limo and then be ignored all night by Scarlet Johansen? The money went to charity. So? This guy just wanted to be with a star if only for a minute. Good for him. If I had the money I might do the same thing…or maybe not.

Brittany Spears is going to be guest starring on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER tonight. The hype is rediculous. The good news is she can’t fuck this up any worse than her appearance on MTV’s music awards. That said, they are going to auction off the outfits worn in the show by Miss Spears and donate the proceeds to the National Resource Defense Councel. CREEPY!!! Who wants to buy her clothes? OK maybe 15 year old girls and 43 year old men living at home with their parents. It just sounds strange to me.

What have we become? This cult of personality is getting crazy.

Which brings me to celebrity baby photos. WHY? I mean, I really love Meryl Streep. I don’t however, care at all about her kids. Why would I?

I saw, over the weekend, a big spread in some paper of J-Lo with her twin babies. She’s nuzzling them and looking at the camera with that “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got” look. She’s just a down to earth, stay at home mom, just like you and me…with mink eye lashes (True). The kids are beautiful though. That’s pretty good considering her husband looks like a dead heroin addict. But why do we want to see them? They can’t act, sing or dance. Hell, their mom can barely act, sing and dance. What is the draw? And if rumor is correct, she got a million dollars for them. What?

The same can be said for Brad and Angelina’s baby, Christina Aguillera’s baby etc… They even made a wax replica of baby Shiloh at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum! Why? Celebs are selling their baby photos so often that it’s just becoming the norm. Babies are the new photo op. The ultimate accessory. Call me old fashion but let your kids grow up like normal kids and allow them to decide if they want to enter into the spotlight when they’re old enough to understand the situation.

I must be missing something. I mean I really love a good singer and a great actor can make or break a movie but c’mon. The funny thing is that people are spending the money to see this shit. You can’t blame J-Lo. If celebs can make a million dollars for their baby pics then someone is buying the magazines. I guess people want to know every little detail about their favorite star.

It is the equivelant to me seeing OCEAN’S THIRTEEN and deciding “I like George Clooney. I think I want to be his best friend. I will buy every magazine that he is in. I will look him up on line and download all his pics. I will study him and learn everything about him. If they sell his clothes, I will buy them so I can see what he smells like.” And then what?

“I will stalk him.”

Weird.

Where does it end? You can’t just enjoy the work. We all need to take it a step further. Princess Diana is dead because of over zealous paparrazzi. Brittany Spears is a fucking nut because she lives in a fish bowl. Paris hilton is a completely fabricated celebrity just because she’s rich and her publicist made her famous. It’s all about exposure. If we think someone is famous, we will buy the rags to get all the gossip. And then what? I can assure you that when everyone has used Brittany Spears till she is unable to form a complete sentence, then she will become obsolete. But before that happens I for one, won’t be happy till I see her throwing fist fulls of her own feces at the throngs of camera men that chase her day in and day out. People become famous for crying “Leave Brittany alone!” What IS up with that?

Personally, I don’t want George Clooney’s pants. I know nothing about him. Every article tells you what they want you to hear. For all I know he’s got scabies or impetigo. That kind of kills the moment. But I do think he’s a good actor. I think for today I will just be happy with the friends that I have. Plus, I can just borrow their clothes.

Filed under: Can I just say:, Richard's Posts, Angelina Jolie, babies, Brad Pitt, Brittany Spears, celebrity, George Clooney, J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez, Paparrazzi, Paris Hilton, Scarlet Johansen