Clearly there is a correlation to political aspiration and labido. Today we heard that the new governor of New York cheated on his wife and she forgave him…because she cheated on him too! Coming on the heels of Spitzer’s outrageous sex scandal last week and Jim McGreevey’s threesomes with his ex wife and ex driver yesterday, it all sounded boring. I kept wondering “were there animals involved? Did a ball gag ever enter into the equation? Was anyone paid $5000.00?”. Sadly, the answer is NO to all the above. David Paterson’s confession seemed tame amidst the shananigans of late. He just had an affair. That’s all? She did too. So what? We’re used to crazier shit than that. Smart move from what seems like a smart man. Get it out in the open now so no one can throw it in your face later.

I like David Paterson. He has a reputation for being very intelligent and well liked. He’s also blind. I know I’m giving into my preconceptions and stereotypes here but he’s not the average blind man. He has run marathons. He plays basketball (How? God’s intervention…clearly). He has risen from obscurity and is now the governor of New York. He does not live in a world of obstacles, only possibilities.

But today I am more impressed than ever, sadly because he was able to convince not only one woman to marry him and forgive his infidelity but another woman to fuck him on the side. No small feet for a man who could have easily been cast in a Sci Fi original movie as “The Oracle” for a small group of nomadic humans living in the deserts of Mongolia circa 2310 AD. Seriously, if he had on a brown, hooded robe and was living in the far reaches of an abandoned mine, he would be a shoe in for the sage who could predict the demise of the “Shrew people” and the salvation of the human race.

Not alot is known about Dave in the way of the “dark arts”. Only his good deads, intellect and physical accomplishments. Mario Cuomo is said to have bet him that he couldn’t make a three point shot on the basketball court. He lost. Stories like that, a hot wife (She is hot.) and a mistress all lead me to believe that he is pulling some Jedi mind tricks. I would bet ten bucks that he can levitate. Don’t worry. All will be revealed in time.

Something tells me that somewhere in a basement in Harlem, is an altar with four dead chickens, thirty two candles and a picture of Elliot Spitzer soaking in goats blood. (Saw it in a movie once.) Either that or he has got some good fucking Kharma. He didn’t even get elected for Christ’s sake! And now he says “Yeah I fucked around. What are you gonna do? Impeach me?” Mark my words. He is going to kick ass as governor and then take over the world. The local Upper West side “oracle” told me that she had a vision of David Paterson wearing long, white robes in a black ricshaw, which was pulled begrudgingly by Karl Rove. Paterson was whipping him with a long riding crop shouting “Faster halfling! Faster!” I believe it. She cost fifteen bucks.

Whether it is witchcraft or good old fashion chutzpah, I don’t know. But horny mother fuckers everywhere are running for office or getting kicked out. In the end, who really cares what people do behind closed doors? (Other than pure, perverted, human interest) A man who is “getting it” is as sharp as a tack. Trust me. No distractions from pent up “aggression”. Let the people who govern, govern. Let’s stay out of their lives and bedrooms. In France, the president is banging a super model who used to date Mick Jagger. Nicolas Sarkozy openly goes out on the town with her. They aren’t ostracized. They’re invited to parties. There has to be a perk for running the show. Why not pussy? If that’s what you’re into.

Filed under: Can I just say:, Richard's Posts, , affairs, ball gag, David Paterson, Jedi mind trick, Jim McGreevey, Nicolas Sarkozy, oracles, Psychics, sex, Threesomes, witch craft